Netiquette

Our kids are wired.  Schools, libraries, friend's homes, their bedrooms, and their phones offer access to a wide new world in ways previous generations have never experienced.  Many times, our children are much more "tech savy" than their parents.  This can lead to problems.

Even if you are not the smoothest OS X operator, or adept at using all the apps on your phone, you can still talk to your kids about netiquette (net etiquette).  Discussing what to do if you encounter something you did not intend to view or someone you don't know sending you messages can help defend your child against sexual predators.  Discussing appropriate commenting and how hurtful cyberbullying can be can reduce your child's involvement in it.  Providing tactics for keeping pictures and passwords safe can reduce the degree of victimization your child may experience.

We recommend connecting to Cyberslammed (https://www.facebook.com/Cyberslammed?ref=ts) for lots of great tips on reducing online risks for your child.  There is a great article about netiquette on the Kansas City Star's website, too (http://www.kansascity.com/2012/08/20/3770890/internet-etiquette-can-lower-kids.html).

We cannot assume that just because our kids are sitting in our living rooms that they are safe.  We need to make sure that we give them appropriate skills and tools for safety, just as we would if they were walking about in any big city.  Learn more, take action.  Your kids are worth the time it will take!

Harmless ad?

I often ask parents if they would fast forward a movie through a violent scene if one came on while they were watching with their children.  Then I ask if they would fast forward thru a scene that had "R-rated" sex in it. Many more say they would fast forward thru the sex than say they would fast forward thru the violence.  I find this interesting in that I would HOPE that the parents don't want their children to ever engage in violent behavior, but do want them to have a healthy and rewarding sex life when they are adults in a committed relationship.  Now, I am not advocating for watching risque films with your kids...I am just musing on the things that we tend to ignore as a society.

We are constantly assailed with images and messages about violence, sex, drugs, values.  If you are not talking about these things with your kids, where are they getting the information that they need to make decisions?  Since we cannot remove all of these messages from our children's lives, perhaps we can capitalize on them as opportunities for dialog?

Take this example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McQFZd9K82g

Harmless good fun, right?  Did you notice the guy with the helium balloon?  Are you aware that quite a few kids DIE from this?  Are you aware that inhalants are a big problem locally?  As a preventionist, I would hope that if you see this ad on TV while your kids are in the room, that you might use it as an opportunity to talk about huffing.  Inhaling anything that wasn't designed to be inhaled is dangerous.  The helium in tanks used to fill balloons comes from sources that do not guarantee the purity of the gas; it is often contaminated with toxins.  Also, kids die every year because they burst their lungs when they try to inhale directly from the tank nozzle. Do your kids have this information?

I would love to hear some examples of ways that you have engaged young people after seeing a "teachable moment" come across the screen or airwaves.  Share them here on the blog, or email me with examples and I can share them anonymously with our readers.

I'm a data geek...

I like data.  Yup.  I do.  Both quantitative (with numbers) and qualitative (mostly words).  That doesn't make me a bad person.  I do recognize that it probably does put me in the minority, though.

So, I understand that not everyone would be as excited as I was last week when we received a fresh set of data about our community, from a survey given to local students last spring.  The survey asked students about alcohol, drugs, stealing, violence, delinquent behaviors, and the things that are going on in their personal lives, families, community, and schools that influence their decisions about such things.  It is very similar to surveys given to middle and high school students all across the nation, and provides a good glimpse into what is going on.

I am happy to report that although I am in the minority, I am not alone in my excitement.  A group of dedicated fellow data geeks are joining me to take a hard look at that data, and will be preparing a summary of the findings to share with the community in the next month.  This community has had access to the data from this survey for quite some time (our coalition has records from as far back as 2002, taken every two years).  We now have enough information to be able to see what the trends in behaviors are, and what we might need to focus on for the next couple of years. 

The coalition will be sharing bits of interesting information as we go along.  We hope that all of you will join us in discussion about some of the more encouraging and alarming things that we uncover, AND what we can do to keep the encouraging things and to get rid of the bad things.  We have clearly made tremendous progress in many areas related to the mission of Five Town CTC—but there is still a lot of work left to do.

Here is a sneak-peek example: rates of drinking by most youth have gone down, but our rates of binge drinking still remain higher than national averages.  Drinking five or more drinks in a row (which is how binge drinking is defined in these surveys) is dangerous behavior for adults, and even more so for young bodies not yet finished developing (see our post on teen brain development from 2011).

Even if you don't love data, you probably do love this community or the kids in it.  Take a look, and consider coming to a coalition meeting, or stopping by our offices to talk about your take on this.  We would love to hear your point of view!

Bucking the trend on teenage depression... or, why we dance for prevention

Government data released this week reveals that pre-teen and teenage girls suffer from depression at a rate nearly three times that of boys their age. Also, according to the figures released by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA), as girls mature from 12 to 15 years of age, the percentage who experience depression triples (to nearly one in six).

A depressive episode was defined in the 2008 to 2010 National Survey on Drug Use and Health as a period of two weeks or longer during which teens experienced a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure, along with other changes in day-to-day function, such as loss of sleep or appetite, or changes in concentration.

SAMSHA Administrator Pamela Hyde stressed the importance of giving teenage girls assistance with coping skills and social support systems to help avoid the onset of depression. Efforts to provide this support she called a “sound investment in girls’ health and well-being and in our nation’s future.”

Through efforts like Communities That Care, our community is able to provide and strengthen the support systems necessary to help our kids develop into healthy adults. Research has proven that preventing adolescent depression and other problems is more effective when it involves the entire social environment.

Here in our community, there are many efforts to reduce the prevalence of depression in our youth.  Parents can sign up for Guiding Good Choices (GGC), which has been shown to reduce depressive symptoms in children of participants (children of GGC participants had 38% lower rates of self-harm and 28% fewer feelings of worthlessness). The Life Skills Training curriculum provided by some of the local middle schools includes lessons on coping skills, and bullying prevention efforts can help relieve some of the pressures facing adolescent girls. Many youth-serving agencies have trained their staff through Gatekeeper Training, and Five Town Communities That Care offers suicide prevention and awareness sessions that include information on depression and warning signs of suicide to any groups in the community who request them.

The Maine Suicide Prevention Program has information on depression and links to many resources.  Your local medical professionals (family doctors and emergency services personnel) have resource directories, and the Maine Crisis Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day (1-888-568-1112).

A community-wide approach to promoting healthy youth focuses on both influencing values, practices and policies that promote a safe and healthy community; and changing the conditions that put children at risk for adolescent health and behavior problems. The ways to do this are varied and vast.  Last week, to get the message across, we danced. Our community works together, learns together, and celebrates success together....

We know that it's far easier to build a healthy child than to repair a broken adult.

 

Five Town CTC Dance Walk: coping skills and social support system at work!

WE are CTC!

Stay connected to your kids, listen... and don't forget to have fun together!

You can't start too early getting your kids involved with a supportive community!

It takes a village... to get a groove on!

Teen Screen Scene

With summer here and an increase in most Mainer's time spent out-of-doors, questions about teen computer and technology use often arise.  Outgoing Superintendent of schools William Shuttleworth penned a letter to parents urging them to turn off the TV and computers and forbid kids to use them unless the weather turned truly horrid. Others see computers and smart phones as essential to teen social life and wouldn't dream of restricting screen time. Is one perspective more valid than the other?

When thinking about this I came up with some pros and cons, and thought about how much I would whine if you were to take away my computer and smart phone (A LOT)... I suspect that because we are so used to having instant access, it is hard to step away from it.  But when I do, I find that I notice other things.

I am not an expert on the harmful or beneficial effects of being wired, but found that this blog by the folks at Psychology Today had some great stuff in it.  Give it a read!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201004/teens-and-the-internet-how-much-is-too-much

Blah, Blah, Blah

I like to read.  Always have.  I also like to talk (Mom says that I always have liked to do that, too).  As much as I enjoy communicating through the written and spoken word, whenever I am trying to explain a detailed concept, I find that I have a hard time talking without drawing.

According to Dan Roam's book, Blah, Blah, Blah that is not surprising, and is actually GOOD when trying to communicate a complex idea.  Roam makes the argument that we simultaneously process details (which words are great for) and the BIG PICTURE (which, well, pictures are good for).  Most people understand things better if they are getting info from both channels.

Now that I know this, I figure that it is important that I try to practice it a bit here in our blog.  So here goes (please bear with the crude figures...I am going for basic ideas, not high quality artwork!)...

Here at Five Town CTC we often try to explain the idea of risk factors and protective factors for adolescent behaviors.  When lots of risks are present in a kid's life, there is a greater likelihood of a negative outcome.  When protective factors are present, kids can navigate tough situations and still come out OK.  So, perhaps we could compare the teen years to navigating a river system:

Some kids end up on the branches of the river that have hazards (risk factors) like rapids (family conflict) or waterfalls (extreme economic deprivation) or whirlpools (friends who use drugs) or rocks (a community where drug use is the norm).  Caring adults can help to divert them from their current path and get them onto safer streams (reduce those risk factors).


Caring adults can also add protection for those in the stream.  Rather than exposing kids to the riverways naked, we can put a life jacket on them (provide opportunities), give them a boat (teach them skills), or even bundle them up in a high tech helmet and put them in a river raft (ensure bonding to caring, prosocial adults).  Protected kids might even be able to navigate all the river has to offer and come out OK.


To mature all children must navigate the river, but when we are aware of the hazards and what protections we can offer it is more likely they will do so safely—even when we can't remove every hazard.

OK, what do you think?  Does the crude sketch help you understand the idea better, or just confuse things more?  We would love to hear what you think.

Summertime or Party time?

The summer months are upon us, and with them comes the opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors.  Summer also brings the close of school, and hours of relative freedom for many teens.  With increased freedom and the allure of beaches, gravel pits, and secluded fields there are bound to be underage parties where alcohol is involved.

First, let me establish why I think underage drinking is risky.  Most humans under age 24 do not yet have adult brains.  The pre-frontal cortex undergoes growth up until this time (and even later in some). Young people between puberty and about age 24 have a higher risk tolerance if there is a possibility of reward (especially for SOCIAL rewards).  In other words, they will do stupid stuff if they think success will get them attention, sex, or other rewards.  When you introduce alcohol into an already risk tolerant individual, you can get some really scary stunts.  (See our November 2011 post.)  Some of these lead to injuries, some to risky sexual behavior and long term social and emotional consequences. The other factor here is that there is evidence that when these developing brains are repeatedly exposed to alcohol or other mind altering drugs, the brains actually develop additional chemoreceptors for alcohol or nicotine or cannabinoids.  This leads to a high risk for dependency as an adult.  Their young livers also process alcohol and other compounds less efficiently than do fully adult bodies.  Bottom line, if you want to reduce the risk of short-term and long-term injury to your children, don't endorse their use of alcohol while they are young.

Most underage drinkers imbibe in groups. According to our local law enforcement officials we have made great strides in recent years in reducing the number of big parties (those with more than 100 kids at them).  This is great, but we still have a long way to go to get the number of youth under 21 who are drinking (and drinking heavily) down.  One way to address this is to discourage even the smaller parties from happening.

The best way to discourage underage drinking is through thoughtful and engaged dialogue between parents and teens.  This includes expressing a sincere desire that your kids not drink at all while they are underage.  (Simply forbidding any behavior without dialogue isn't effective.  Our children need to understand that we care about them and think that underage drinking, not just drinking and driving, is not safe.)

When this method doesn't work, or when we get wind of a planned gathering at another family's property, you can call them and tell them what you heard.  If you find that this would be very awkward for you to do, perhaps a discussion with the parents of your children's close friends when you don't have bad news to break might be in order.  Before it ever becomes an issue, try asking them what they would like you to do if you were to hear about a party at their house or at their camp, and share what you would like them to do if the same were to be true for a party at your property.

If you don't know the other parents, or can't get in touch with them, please consider calling the regional emergency dispatch centers and reporting the potential party.  The earlier you can report it, the more likely that law enforcement can break it up without having to summons anyone.  Ideally, the officers can simply have a conversation BEFORE the party starts, so that it can be avoided all together.  Also, reports to the Knox or Waldo County dispatch centers can be anonymous.  The dispatcher may ask you for your name automatically, but you can leave a report without leaving your name.  (Just state that you would not like to give your name.)  No one—especially local law enforcement—wants to have to make a call about an accident or a bust at a party to parents. They would much rather get word early and be able to keep things from escalating to the point of having to write summons or even worse deal with an accident.

We as community members need to get more involved to prevent young people from habitually using alcohol.  Taking the step of talking to your children, talking to their friends' parents, and reporting parties you get wind of are some of the ways you can help.