Breaking the silence on sexual violence

This week's blog contribution comes from Sasha Mackey, outreach advocate with Sexual Assault Support Services of Midcoast Maine.  Five Town Communities That Care strives to promote healthy youth and to reduce adolescent substance abuse, suicide, violence, delinquency, school drop-out, and teen pregnancy.  Here in the Five Towns, we are blessed to have much lower rates of overall violence in our community than many urban areas, but we are by no means violence free.  Sasha gives us a glimpse into a type of violence that most Mainers seldom talk about.

Breaking the Silence... Let’s Talk about it.

Sexual violence - what is it and who does it affect?

Sexual violence is an act of power that violates a person’s trust and feeling of safety.  This happens when someone forces or manipulates another person into any unwanted sexual activity.  Some forms of sexual violence include rape or sexual assault, child sexual assault and incest, intimate partner sexual assault, unwanted sexual contact/touching, molestation, sexual exploitation and sexual harassment. Sexual violence does not discriminate; it affects people of all genders, ages, races, religions, incomes, abilities, professions, ethnicities, and sexual orientations.

Did you know… 1 out of 5 Mainers reported being a victim of rape or attempted rape in their lifetime? (Rubin, 2007)

Chances are you know someone who has been sexually assaulted. 

A common myth that is often portrayed in our media culture, movies and TV is that of a sexual assault occurring late at night, down a dark ally by a complete stranger.  But sexual violence is not just a crime between strangers.  Survivors and offenders are often known classmates, loves ones, family members, neighbors, employers or friends.

Did you know… 11.9% of Maine high school students – 13.3% of girls, and 10.4% of boys – report having been physically forced to have sexual intercourse in their lifetime.

And 19.4% of Maine high school students – 24% of girls and 14.9% of boys – report having been the target of offensive sexual comments at school or on the way to or from school in their lifetime. (Maine Centers for Disease Control. 2010)

What you can do

These statistics are not meant to create fear, but meant only to raise awareness and break the silence that is attached to the issue of sexual violence. 

It is the responsibility of every member in the community to create safe and comfortable neighborhoods.  As parents and leaders in the community we can help by having open and honest discussions with each other and with our youth.  By talking about the issue in a safe and educational way, we get to be in charge of what message is delivered.  The statistics are proof that sexual violence does not go away if we just don’t talk about it.  We can model supportive relationships and behaviors with friends and family.  Trust your feelings, and listen to your “inner voice” if someone’s behavior feels unsafe, unwelcome or uncomfortable.  We can speak up when we hear harmful comments or witness violent acts.  And most importantly, we can stand up for survivors and believe their stories.

Did you know… Help and Support are available in your community.

Survivors of sexual violence can experience a wide range of emotions such as anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, doubt and the list goes on.  Some people may act differently and may be come quieter or secluded where others may act out or turn to harmful coping strategies.  If you or someone you know has felt the impact of sexual violence, support is available. 

Your community is supported by the Sexual Assault Support Services of Midcoast Maine.  If you have any questions, concerns or are looking for support, help is just a phone call away. 

Sexual Assault Support Services of Midcoast Maine

24 hour, free and confidential support line number for Eastern Cumberland, Sagadahoc, Lincoln, Knox and Waldo Counties 1-800-822-5999 or from a cell phone, 207-725-1500.

No one deserves to be sexual abused, so let’s work together to break that silence and as a community, we can all…

Celebrating community, Scout style

The following brief was submitted by Chris Mills, Committee Chair of Pack 200 Cub Scouts, Camden. His account of Scout participation in Five Town CTC's 3rd annual Harvest Hoot festival expresses so well the power of volunteering, of organized clubs, and of community spirit---and is a shining example of how these three elements combine to promote healthy youth in our community.

Five Town CTC wishes to thank all the Cub and Boy Scouts, their parents, and everyone from the Scout community who came out to help with the Hoot! If your organization would like to join with Five Town CTC in promoting healthy youth, give us a call!

Shelley and Finn Mills enjoy the Hoot!

EXTRAORDINARY SCOUTING IN CAMDEN

Pack and Troop 200 were asked by Five Town Communities That Care to coordinate all the kids activities and games at a six-hour family festival (Harvest Hoot) at the Camden Snow Bowl on September 8. We set up paintball slingshot, a Pinewood Derby, a rain gutter regatta, a boat building station, face painting, a craft table, cub cars and three large pine stumps where kids could pound nails to their hearts' content.  Andrew Clement, Scoutmaster, was there with some of his Scouts. He had his trailer set up doing a Dutch oven cooking demo over a fire. The beef stew and chocolate cherry cake, both prepared in Dutch ovens, were gobbled up by anyone who walked by. The Boy Scouts worked hard pulling cub cars up the hill and sitting on the dunk tank ---- a volunteer activity they thoroughly enjoyed.

We had a total of 18 Scouts and 19 adults who volunteered.  All Scouts and Scout leaders were in uniform. It was a perfect opportunity to show the community-at-large what Scouting is all about. The feedback from Five Town CTC has been very positive. The event organizers were amazed at all the activities that we had going on and how well staffed we were. The organizers got a lot of feedback from people attending about how much fun the kids area was. Everything that we offered was free, which made a big impression on the parents.

Our Scouts had a blast both manning stations and participating. It goes to show you that volunteering can be fun and fulfilling.

We made a very good impression on many adults with Scout age children and probably will see some come to our first Pack meeting.

-----Wake and act each day with the understanding that your actions will be absorbed by your children...and your children will grow to be contributing adults to the level of your influence.

Netiquette

Our kids are wired.  Schools, libraries, friend's homes, their bedrooms, and their phones offer access to a wide new world in ways previous generations have never experienced.  Many times, our children are much more "tech savy" than their parents.  This can lead to problems.

Even if you are not the smoothest OS X operator, or adept at using all the apps on your phone, you can still talk to your kids about netiquette (net etiquette).  Discussing what to do if you encounter something you did not intend to view or someone you don't know sending you messages can help defend your child against sexual predators.  Discussing appropriate commenting and how hurtful cyberbullying can be can reduce your child's involvement in it.  Providing tactics for keeping pictures and passwords safe can reduce the degree of victimization your child may experience.

We recommend connecting to Cyberslammed (https://www.facebook.com/Cyberslammed?ref=ts) for lots of great tips on reducing online risks for your child.  There is a great article about netiquette on the Kansas City Star's website, too (http://www.kansascity.com/2012/08/20/3770890/internet-etiquette-can-lower-kids.html).

We cannot assume that just because our kids are sitting in our living rooms that they are safe.  We need to make sure that we give them appropriate skills and tools for safety, just as we would if they were walking about in any big city.  Learn more, take action.  Your kids are worth the time it will take!

Harmless ad?

I often ask parents if they would fast forward a movie through a violent scene if one came on while they were watching with their children.  Then I ask if they would fast forward thru a scene that had "R-rated" sex in it. Many more say they would fast forward thru the sex than say they would fast forward thru the violence.  I find this interesting in that I would HOPE that the parents don't want their children to ever engage in violent behavior, but do want them to have a healthy and rewarding sex life when they are adults in a committed relationship.  Now, I am not advocating for watching risque films with your kids...I am just musing on the things that we tend to ignore as a society.

We are constantly assailed with images and messages about violence, sex, drugs, values.  If you are not talking about these things with your kids, where are they getting the information that they need to make decisions?  Since we cannot remove all of these messages from our children's lives, perhaps we can capitalize on them as opportunities for dialog?

Take this example:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=McQFZd9K82g

Harmless good fun, right?  Did you notice the guy with the helium balloon?  Are you aware that quite a few kids DIE from this?  Are you aware that inhalants are a big problem locally?  As a preventionist, I would hope that if you see this ad on TV while your kids are in the room, that you might use it as an opportunity to talk about huffing.  Inhaling anything that wasn't designed to be inhaled is dangerous.  The helium in tanks used to fill balloons comes from sources that do not guarantee the purity of the gas; it is often contaminated with toxins.  Also, kids die every year because they burst their lungs when they try to inhale directly from the tank nozzle. Do your kids have this information?

I would love to hear some examples of ways that you have engaged young people after seeing a "teachable moment" come across the screen or airwaves.  Share them here on the blog, or email me with examples and I can share them anonymously with our readers.

I'm a data geek...

I like data.  Yup.  I do.  Both quantitative (with numbers) and qualitative (mostly words).  That doesn't make me a bad person.  I do recognize that it probably does put me in the minority, though.

So, I understand that not everyone would be as excited as I was last week when we received a fresh set of data about our community, from a survey given to local students last spring.  The survey asked students about alcohol, drugs, stealing, violence, delinquent behaviors, and the things that are going on in their personal lives, families, community, and schools that influence their decisions about such things.  It is very similar to surveys given to middle and high school students all across the nation, and provides a good glimpse into what is going on.

I am happy to report that although I am in the minority, I am not alone in my excitement.  A group of dedicated fellow data geeks are joining me to take a hard look at that data, and will be preparing a summary of the findings to share with the community in the next month.  This community has had access to the data from this survey for quite some time (our coalition has records from as far back as 2002, taken every two years).  We now have enough information to be able to see what the trends in behaviors are, and what we might need to focus on for the next couple of years. 

The coalition will be sharing bits of interesting information as we go along.  We hope that all of you will join us in discussion about some of the more encouraging and alarming things that we uncover, AND what we can do to keep the encouraging things and to get rid of the bad things.  We have clearly made tremendous progress in many areas related to the mission of Five Town CTC—but there is still a lot of work left to do.

Here is a sneak-peek example: rates of drinking by most youth have gone down, but our rates of binge drinking still remain higher than national averages.  Drinking five or more drinks in a row (which is how binge drinking is defined in these surveys) is dangerous behavior for adults, and even more so for young bodies not yet finished developing (see our post on teen brain development from 2011).

Even if you don't love data, you probably do love this community or the kids in it.  Take a look, and consider coming to a coalition meeting, or stopping by our offices to talk about your take on this.  We would love to hear your point of view!

Bucking the trend on teenage depression... or, why we dance for prevention

Government data released this week reveals that pre-teen and teenage girls suffer from depression at a rate nearly three times that of boys their age. Also, according to the figures released by the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA), as girls mature from 12 to 15 years of age, the percentage who experience depression triples (to nearly one in six).

A depressive episode was defined in the 2008 to 2010 National Survey on Drug Use and Health as a period of two weeks or longer during which teens experienced a depressed mood or a loss of interest or pleasure, along with other changes in day-to-day function, such as loss of sleep or appetite, or changes in concentration.

SAMSHA Administrator Pamela Hyde stressed the importance of giving teenage girls assistance with coping skills and social support systems to help avoid the onset of depression. Efforts to provide this support she called a “sound investment in girls’ health and well-being and in our nation’s future.”

Through efforts like Communities That Care, our community is able to provide and strengthen the support systems necessary to help our kids develop into healthy adults. Research has proven that preventing adolescent depression and other problems is more effective when it involves the entire social environment.

Here in our community, there are many efforts to reduce the prevalence of depression in our youth.  Parents can sign up for Guiding Good Choices (GGC), which has been shown to reduce depressive symptoms in children of participants (children of GGC participants had 38% lower rates of self-harm and 28% fewer feelings of worthlessness). The Life Skills Training curriculum provided by some of the local middle schools includes lessons on coping skills, and bullying prevention efforts can help relieve some of the pressures facing adolescent girls. Many youth-serving agencies have trained their staff through Gatekeeper Training, and Five Town Communities That Care offers suicide prevention and awareness sessions that include information on depression and warning signs of suicide to any groups in the community who request them.

The Maine Suicide Prevention Program has information on depression and links to many resources.  Your local medical professionals (family doctors and emergency services personnel) have resource directories, and the Maine Crisis Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day (1-888-568-1112).

A community-wide approach to promoting healthy youth focuses on both influencing values, practices and policies that promote a safe and healthy community; and changing the conditions that put children at risk for adolescent health and behavior problems. The ways to do this are varied and vast.  Last week, to get the message across, we danced. Our community works together, learns together, and celebrates success together....

We know that it's far easier to build a healthy child than to repair a broken adult.

 

Five Town CTC Dance Walk: coping skills and social support system at work!

WE are CTC!

Stay connected to your kids, listen... and don't forget to have fun together!

You can't start too early getting your kids involved with a supportive community!

It takes a village... to get a groove on!

Teen Screen Scene

With summer here and an increase in most Mainer's time spent out-of-doors, questions about teen computer and technology use often arise.  Outgoing Superintendent of schools William Shuttleworth penned a letter to parents urging them to turn off the TV and computers and forbid kids to use them unless the weather turned truly horrid. Others see computers and smart phones as essential to teen social life and wouldn't dream of restricting screen time. Is one perspective more valid than the other?

When thinking about this I came up with some pros and cons, and thought about how much I would whine if you were to take away my computer and smart phone (A LOT)... I suspect that because we are so used to having instant access, it is hard to step away from it.  But when I do, I find that I notice other things.

I am not an expert on the harmful or beneficial effects of being wired, but found that this blog by the folks at Psychology Today had some great stuff in it.  Give it a read!

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201004/teens-and-the-internet-how-much-is-too-much